Reparenting Ourselves

What does reparenting really mean?

Perhaps we grew up in emotionally healthy environments — with parents who were able to love us, neutrally and consistently, in a language we understood.

Or perhaps we didn’t.

Many parents did the best they could with the tools they had. Their upbringing, cultural programming, beliefs, fears, and unhealed experiences inevitably shaped how they showed up. Often, without awareness, these patterns were passed down.

The first seven years of a child’s life are formative — shaping how we see the world, understand safety and risk, relate to reward and failure, regulate emotions, and build a sense of security within ourselves.

Not everyone had access to environments where emotional intelligence was named, modeled, or taught. Many grew up learning only what had worked before — inheriting a template of right and wrong, success and failure, strength and weakness.

We carry those templates into adulthood.

And then into the workplace.

In high-pressure environments, we often reenact parts of our inner child — not because we are incapable, but because stress reveals what was never supported.

“I’m exhausted. I want to quit,” says the part of us that never learned how to stay with one thing.
“I want to scream,” says the part that never learned how to regulate emotion.
“I’m not sure I did the right thing,” says the part that grew up relying on external validation.
“I’m afraid to speak up,” says the part that was once punished for having a voice.
“……..,” the body just froze, a reaction from the part who prefers to be quiet over conflict.

Haven’t we seen all of these at work?

When we operate from a fight-or-flight nervous system, we repeat familiar patterns — even as adults, even as leaders.

And because we are holistic beings, this doesn’t stop at work.

It appears in our relationships.
In conflict.
In silence.
In avoidance.
In our bodies.

Sometimes the body speaks first — through fatigue, anxiety, or illness — quietly saying, I no longer want to live this way.

It can also show up in how we lead. We forget that leadership is not only about performance, but about responsibility — for our own regulation, and for the environments we create for others.

Reparenting begins before we seek answers outside.

It begins when we turn inward with steadiness.

When we offer ourselves the love, reassurance, and trust we once needed.
When we affirm our capability.
When we build confidence through small, lived evidence — one step at a time.
When we become our own quiet, consistent supporter.

If it doesn’t end with us, how could it ever heal beyond us?