Leadership Begins Before We Lead Others

On presence, vulnerability, and the quiet responsibility of leadership

How often do we ask someone, “How are you?” — without really waiting for the answer?

How often do we look someone in the eyes, say thank you, and truly mean it?

How often do we allow ourselves to be human in front of our teams — not as someone on a pedestal, but as someone they can relate to?

Leadership can be lonely.
There are days when it feels like no one quite understands the weight you carry, or the quiet decisions you make behind the scenes.

I get it.
I see you.
I see myself in you.

You might be someone who leads with softness — afraid to speak up or hold others accountable because you don’t want to disturb the peace.

Or you might be big-hearted and sensitive, yet unsure how to express it — and it comes across as cold or dismissive.

Or perhaps you’re still redefining your leadership style, your maturity, your values — and sometimes it sounds like “my way or the highway,” even when that’s not what you intend.

I’ve been all of these versions at different points in my journey.

And from where I stand now, I’ve learned this:
leadership starts with us.

It starts in how we treat ourselves.
In how we reparent the parts of us that never felt safe to lead.
In how we speak to ourselves when no one is listening.

Because whatever lives inside us eventually shows up outside.

To lead well, we need to humanize leadership again.
Real connection.
Presence.
Looking people in the eyes.
Earning trust by seeing who is actually in front of us — not who we expect them to be.

Everyone carries their own insecurities.
It’s not our role to attack them.

Our role is to create environments where people feel safe enough to bring their best selves forward.

That, to me, is leadership.

Sometimes, leadership begins when we stop performing strength and start practicing presence. Let than land in you.